Catholic Prayer Requests: Trouble discerning and deciding

by Matt
(Calgary)

I am currently engaged to a good catholic woman and am having serious doubts about whether to proceed with the marriage or not. I seem to be oscillating between wanting to break off the engagement and lead a committed single life (consisting of work, prayer and penance) and marrying her. Thinking about the wedding and married life causes me much anxiety. I seem to be leaning towards calling it off but when I decide in my head to do that I begin second-guessing myself and realize how attached I have become to her, what a quality woman she is....etc. I experience a very real fear of losing her. I don't understand what is going on.

Please pray for me that I understand what is happening more clearly, discern the correct path and that once having done that, I have the moral courage to do what I ought to do.

Thank you in advance for your prayers and God bless. I will pray for you.


Dear Matt,

Taking a wife and having a family is indeed a great undertaking, and the man, who is ultimately responsible before the eyes of God for the salvation of his wife and children(the wife is too, but the husband over all) should not enter marriage lightly. It sounds to me just from the bit you have mentioned that you are taking this seriously and understand what you are undertaking and not entering this immaturely.

If you have a good Catholic woman who is interested in living according to how the Church decrees, you have a treasure. She will not only be your help-mate with worldly cares and responsibilities, but also will help you with your salvation and be able to give you children who are a reward in themselves(not always easy, but rewarding!)

You really should attend a retreat, an Ignatian retreat is best, to help you discern your vocation. The married state in life can be very fulfilling and you will be able to save your soul much easier than in a single state. This isn't taking into consideration the Religious state, which is the highest, but you don't mention this as a possibility.

Please seek out your Spiritual Adviser, and if you don't have one, you might consider finding a priest who is capable of advising you.

The undertaking of a state in life should always be done prayerfully and with guidance. It is best for your Spiritual Director to know you and then he can help you make better decisions, and you will have confidence that you are being guided in and with the grace of God.

In general, the anxiety you are feeling is normal. Any man who is about to undertake such serious responsibilities should be concerned that he is doing the right thing. If he isn't concerned, he probably isn't taking this step in his life serious enough.

Your intentions will be remembered in our daily Rosary.

In Our Lady of the Holy Rosary,
Sheila

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